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Friday, September 23, 2011

Flirting DOES NOT Help A Relationship

This is an older blog that I just wanted to repost due to the ridiculous amount of chatter I've been hearing lately on this very subject.  Supposedly, this sort of thing is good for a relationship- Anyone who says that obviously has a screw loose.  With that said, I give you:
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In regards to the article written by Dave Zinczenko and published on Yahoo courtesy of Men's Health. This article can be found here:
Why Flirting Can Help Your Relationship



Flirting DOES NOT Help A Relationship

The idea of flirting outside of marriage is so akin to adultery, I find it offensive. There is a certain level of flirting that is natural, is normal, and is almost a subconscious thing. The cashier at the convenience store paying a compliment, or vise versa, for example.


However, to knowingly flirt while in an emotional drought in one's relationship puts one in dangerous territory, to say the least. Women especially are vulnerable to this form of emotional "foreplay," as the article called it.

The reason is that women are largely emotional beings. While very rational, and intelligent, God created women to be more in touch with their emotions for their children. (For their husband, to a degree, but that's a different topic.)

Because of a woman's naturally emotional standpoint, when her husband is not meeting those emotional needs at home, the last thing that she needs is to have that need met outside of her husband. It can cause/will cause her to question the validity of her marriage, the competence of her husband, even the genuineness of her feelings for him.
Obviously, you can see where this situation CAN lead to adultery.


For a man, the danger is slightly different. Not quite as threatening on an emotional scale, but just as dangerous, nonetheless.
A man has the ability to know when a woman is flirting with him. The mark of a truly content husband is his inability to notice, or his refusal to lend credence to, another woman's flirtations. As you can imagine, therein lies the problem- IF he is truly content.

As this article focuses on a couple who have hit a rough patch, we must assume that one or both are not feeling fulfilled. This means that, in spite of himself, a man's detection system is fully operational.

Because of this, when that pretty little waitress calls him honey and winks, there's something that hits him inside. If he is not careful, this will cause his thinking to become much more sexual in nature, leaving him fantasizing about someone other than his wife.
For this man, it is a rather short step from the fantasy to the action, provided he truly has convinced himself that there's no point in holding out.


I completely believe that there are men and women who have enough self control to not fall into temptation. I am convinced that a person is truly blessed when their spouse, following a withstood temptation, returns home to sweep them off their feet, demonstrating their love in action in a way both needed.
In this regard, I can see the author's point- However, it is far too risky and dangerous to initiate such a situation on one's own. Such a thing is like issuing an invitation to the devil.


However- Flirting within the relationship... Have fun!!