Friday, June 29, 2007

Singles Ads

"Well, you know you're on Myspace!"

This is the response I get every time I complain about these stupid personals ads! This particular online dating site calls itself TRUE.

Well, TRUE, let me spin you a tale... A tale of deception, sex, and lies.

First off, the beefcake in your ad? Or the hot chick? If they actually needed your site, they'd have exchanged their posing for a membership, not posed, then spent all of that paycheck on your ridiculous membership prices.
So, basically, no one will ever find someone quite that good looking on your site.

Secondly, what business man comes home from a long day at the office, tired, worn out, and just wanting to relax? Probably all of them. But how many would actually consider taking off their suit coat, shirt and tie... Then putting the coat back on- Just for the heck of it?!
Uh, sorry to burst your bubble, ladies, but none to 1%, and the odds are running better for NO ONE.

Or, how many women will get home, and, feeling tired, put on some clingy, skimpy night shirt, throw a white faux fur rug on the hardwood floor, put their laptop there and their webcams on the back of a chair looking down their shirts- And call THAT relaxation?!
Again, odds are good that unless they earn their money this way, it doesn't happen!

Finally, the lies- You imply that the poor schmucks that are really looking for LOVE will come to your site, and find it in the arms of some supermodel. You suggest that women who look like that are ACTUALLY that desperate. You suggest men who look like that don't ALREADY have a bevy of women hanging from their arms.
You shamelessly promote your site knowingly using sexual inuendo; You know that these people do not exist except in fairy tale, and you use this to prey on those with self esteem problems. You act as if this is OK.

In summery, you people are liars, manipulators, scam artists, cheats, pimps, hoes, shameless, and every other word for lowdown, dirty, rotten, bottom feeding scumsuckers there is. You people are lower then corrupt trial defense lawyers. Lower then OJ Simpson's slogan writer. You have to look UP to see whale feces!

And, Tom, just a small footnote here with your name attached- You don't want Myspace to be affiliated with sex addicts, or anything else of that nature. Most of your market here is comprised of junior high students.

And that, my friends, is my rant for the day.